Sigh...I don't have a title for this one.

I apologize heartily for the lack of blogging these last two weeks...life has taken over my life. I've lost inspiration, lost motivation, lost...idk. I'm just lost right now.
I'm waiting for Friday, when I can go home and just BE for a week...probably all I'll be doing is homework, but I'm okay with that. I'm tired of going to classes right now...I just want the academic year to be over. I'm still enjoying it, mind you. I'm just at that point in the semester where I can't believe it's only halfway done and I still have a quarter of my freshman year left. And then I think, "Wow, I only have a quarter of my freshman year left???" I'm in-between, not sure, and relatively apathetic right now.

My grandma died a year ago today. I miss her so much that I can't bear it sometimes. I was really close to her, and I miss hearing her voice over the phone, and her hugs, and everything else about her...I can't be angry though. She was suffering a lot in the last few years of her life, and now she's back with my grandpa, the love of her life. I know they're okay...I had a dream the night of her funeral, and all I remember from that dream was seeing her and knowing it was her coming to say goodbye. It was strangely sad and comforting at the same time.

Then in August, I had another dream...this time it was both of my grandparents. My grandpa died ten years and one month before my grandma (February 1, 1998), and she was a wreck without him. But in this dream, I was back at their old house, and they came outside to greet me. I hugged my grandpa for the first time in ten years, and I told him, "Grandpa, I'm a college freshman!" He was so proud of me...he didn't say anything, but his smile was so huge...my mom was the first in her family to go to college, and he was so happy that I was following in her footsteps.

So that's how I know they're okay. I don't care what other people think. I don't care if dreams don't count as knowledge, or that it's just a trick of my mind. Don't bother telling me that. I have faith...and sometimes, those dreams are the only things that help me to keep that faith.




I miss my grandma so much...